New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
