Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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