my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize