Small penises have feelings too.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
