she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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