I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
