He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish I only lived at night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
