...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
