Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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