Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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