I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
