Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize