just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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