Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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