So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
