Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
