im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
