Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
