i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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