I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
