She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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