How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
