I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
