Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
