Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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