you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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