I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i need some magic done to my vagina
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
