i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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