spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
