There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
