well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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