Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
