Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
