trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
worst night to have a conscience
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
