theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
