do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
