I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
