Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
