If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
