Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
