Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
