you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
