I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Come on in and take your pants off
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