Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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