also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
