He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
