Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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