yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
