Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
