when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize