I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
