I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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