i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
