she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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