After last night, I could never be a politician.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
