All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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