i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He? As in you personified your dick?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
