Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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