Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
